Cherish the Chaos: Advice from a Parenting Survivor.
They grow up so fast. BEFORE you roll your eyes and scroll on by - I promise this won’t be a preachy or judgy lecture to you Millennial and Gen Z moms out there (I shouldn’t leave out the Gen Xers that started late, either.)
I have three babies who are now climbing through their twenties with an independence and energy that I find both bittersweet and inspiring. I miss them. I miss the arguments, the smelly shoes on the coffee table, the flock of oversized fourteen-year-old boys eating through my kitchen like a flock of locusts, the doll accessories and LEGOs endlessly flung to every corner of the house. And let’s be honest - I’m proud. My children somehow survived into adulthood, despite the many forbidden trips to McDonalds, the high-school ragers, teenage drivers, and the stress of growing up. And screen time? Don’t get me started. My generational zone of parenting fell just at the edge of iphones and ipads. Screen time meant driving to the library and filling up the bag with videos, DVDs, and if there was room in the bag - books. Let’s just say that the librarians knew us all by name.
You have every right to take shortcuts when you’re parenting. It’s hard. Really hard. And, to be frank, sometimes you're parenting your spouse which seems like a cruel joke when you are stirring dinner on the stove, rubbing the dogs belly with your foot, doing math equations in your head for the 6th grader’s homework, and holding one wee bairn on the hip, feeding her stale brownies just to keep her content for a gosh darn minute.
It’s ok to escape, too! I have a friend who would decompress by driving around town listening to music. I was known to lock myself in the bathroom with a glass of wine and a good book. The wall of hollow wood between me and my three darling beggars and the dog was my savior on many occasions.
Tip: Be the one to mow the lawn. You’ll get a break from the kids, get exercise and vitamin D, and you can listen to YOUR music on loud.
Listen to me. Hear me. You WILL miss these days. You will miss the chaos of family meals. You will miss the 3:00am monster that hid under your son’s bed and the thirty-minutes it took to get him back to sleep, teaching him how to give dream monsters a beat down.
So, here is my lecture (more of a reminder). And you will read it and heed it because I’m older than you and I’ve been through the dense forest of parenting children and have come out into the clearing of having young adults who, turns out - are not still sucking their thumbs and wetting their pants after all.
Take the time to acknowledge these moments.
That’s it. Simple. Next time you’re in the grocery line doing after-school pick-up calculus and your youngest is licking the hand grip of the shopping cart - take that moment to drink it up. Imagine yourself in your 50’s, your children grown and flown and flourishing, or at least - employed. Imagine remembering back to this very moment. Take a mental picture. Not a picture with your phone. Do that after you take a mental picture. Take stock. Look at what you have right there in front of you, take a big healthy breath of air, and enjoy it.
Even if you’re sitting on the toilet trying to change a toddler diaper and nurse a baby and you haven’t showered in 3 days - put yourself in your 70 year old body and look down on this scene and see the beauty and the humor in that messy beloved moment.
Because . . . they are beloved and they really do grow up so fast.
Randi is the owner of R.Wing Travel and a travel advisor herself. If you would like to chat about your next travel ideas, feel free to schedule a complimentary vacation consultation!
