Reclaiming Family Time: The Power of a Family Vacation
A friend once told me about a family vacation she had taken with her husband and three children. She said, "Do you know what was the most profound part of this vacation? We found each other. I didn’t know we had lost each other." This was a profound revelation and one that I recognized and understood deeply.
At the time, we had our children in sports, dance, school clubs, and church—all intended to create a richer, fuller life. But in the ordered chaos of overlapping schedules, dinner on the fly, carpool calculus, and homework, there was a lack of true intentional time together. I knew exactly what she meant and I yearned for that connection with my own family.
The old adage, "They're only young once," was not lost on me. I thought I would have 18 years with each of my children before I had to share them with the world and compete for their time. Looking back, I'm amused at my naiveté. At 15, they get their driver's permits and start their first paying jobs. At 16, they are gone. They are at the age when, appropriately, friends, sports, clubs, dance, and a yearning for independence take priority. Creating space and time to be together becomes more and more difficult, and I found that a 15-minute drive with six smelly hockey players (or dancers) and their smellier bags was an honor and a privilege. It gave me a glimpse into their mysterious social circle with their banter, strangely oblivious to my presence as the minivan chauffeur. I can picture myself smiling contentedly, watching them swing their oversized stink bags onto their shoulders and ribbing each other as they walked into the ice arena, and the only thought in my head was, "These are good kids and they grow up so fast."
Mothers yearn for their children. Always. Even now, with my firstborn being a young father, my second piloting planes somewhere over North Dakota, and my youngest stretching her artist wings and building her own career, I miss them. I yearn to mother them. And I'll admit that I sometimes feel a mild grief… let's be honest—it's self-pity, because, for me, those years as a mother with three kids under my wings were absolutely golden years and I miss those days.
Planning vacations for my family was a way to gather them up from all corners of their busy social lives and bring us all together, intentionally. This was time together, without the distraction and noise of sleepovers, spelling tests, dance recitals, football games—fill in the blank, you get the idea. A vacation with my family meant bonding over new discoveries, laughing hysterically together on a roller-coaster, sitting close together in silence watching the beautiful sunset, or cheering each other through terrifying adventures, like snorkeling in a volcanic rift—yes, that's a thing!
Some of my favorite family vacations were not elaborate. A long road trip out to Montana—stopping at scenic rest stops to enjoy homemade tuna noodle salad and sharing a can of Pringles comes to mind. Playing soccer at midnight in a twilight valley in Iceland was magical. Eye contact, laughter, hugs, release. Finding each other again.
Don't put off that vacation because you're waiting for prices to drop, or for that epic trip to Switzerland that you keep promising yourself. It doesn't have to be epic. Start this month—close to home. Pack the car and spend two nights in a cabin. Bring card games and puzzles, leave the phones in the car. Bring frozen pizzas and premade peanut butter and jelly sandwiches if you don't enjoy spending time in the kitchen. I’ve got a great tuna salad recipe for you. Or maybe rent a cabin with a decked-out kitchen and cook as a family.
Learn from your elders. I promise you, when you are 54, sitting at your computer writing a travel blog, you will not think back on the money you spent on vacations. You will wonder why you didn't do it more often and sooner.
You're welcome.
Randi is the owner of R.Wing Travel and a travel advisor herself. If you would like to chat about your next travel ideas, feel free to schedule a complimentary vacation consultation!
